'i self-harm and i can't stop'
[Pete] Hello, this is Get Connected. Thanks for contacting us. Can you tell me why you've got in touch?
[Lila] hello. i self-harm and i can't stop. my parents know but when i did it last time they got angry. if I try to explain why i just break down an have a panic attack.
[Pete] That sounds quite serious. Thanks for being brave enough to share it with me. It'd be good if you could tell me why you self-harm.
[Lila] theres so many reasons...the last 6 months have been so hard. I've been diagnosed with depression and posttraumatic stress disorder. coz i was abused when i was little. i cant cope with life an I've fallen behind in skool work. none of my friends want to know me anymore. they have walked away from me. i wanna walk away from me, the mess I'm in. i hear voices all the time and cutting is the only way to cope.
Lila confided to Pete that nobody knew quite how bad it had been. She had been abused by a second person and never told anyone. She felt that if she mentioned it now, it would divide her family and only bring her buried memories back to the surface.
[Lila] wen i talk bout it it hurts so much i jus wanna die but wen its inside i can forget about it.
[Pete] It's totally up to you Lila, you don't have to talk about anything you aren't comfortable with.
[Lila] i dont wanna be judged. everyone who sees my scars judges me.
[Pete] can you think of what the trigger is that makes you self-harm each time?
[Lila] sometimes if i cut i feel real again like I'm not dead.
[Pete] Is it the self-harm you want help with tonight, or the abuse, or problems at school? It can be more than one of these things - whatever you want help with tonight.
[Lila] the self-harm an abuse
[Pete] Do you think you'd be able to talk about it to another neutral party - someone who's not involved in your life like your parents or the counsellor are?
[Lila] yeh. i just want to talk about it an see if it helps, is that ok?
[Pete] Of course. There are helplines that deal with self-harm. One of them may be able to help you with this. Would you like to know about them?
[Lila] yes please.
Pete sent over details of a crisis service for girls and women, which had a particular focus on self-harm. They have an email and a phone service.
[Pete] Is there anything else you'd like to talk about? If not, you could webchat again in the future, or email or phone 0808 808 4994
[Lila] no thats it. thank you for your help, its really great.
